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Spandex & Braids

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lavendarlizard @ 10:54 am: Saturday Banshee
Today's ruminations will concern the driving habits of the common California asshole. The rule is still that if you have your windshield wipers on, you have your headlights on also. Not just your parking lights (which are illegal to run with on public streets) or your fancy aux lights. Would someone please advise the assholes of that? It's considered bad form as well as bad karma to rooster tail pedestrians. Especially when laughing. Nobody likes a dick. High beams do nothing in the rain, except to blind on-coming drivers. If you blind one driving a vehicle bigger than yours, you might just become intimately acquainted with a ditch. If you're kissing my bumper when we're stopped at a light, on a hill, just know that I will roll backwards in the microsecond between leaving the brake and getting on the gas. It's called a clutch, twit-wit; assume everyone has one. And no, I will not do the 'clutch heel toe' maneuver. I gave that up 40 years ago.

Thank you. We will now rejoin our fic. ^___^

BFB – Part 099.48 – Ii Kibarashi – I can handle Heero; why?

"So, Heero... How was your weekend? Relaxing?"

"Wufei, stop it! Don't piss him off!"

"I'm just inquiring as to how their weekend was; you know; polite conversation?"

"This is not the time –!"

"Pish. He's a big Dragon..."


"I hear the cabana Elves are really something, Heero. Always at your beck and call; never missing a trick."


"I see Duo got a bit of a tan... No lines, I'll bet..."



"Yep, I've heard it's impossible to get a sunburn at that resort..."


"Heero, he's just –"

"Those Elves are supposed to be really good... Was Duo pleased with the service?"

"Oh shit!"



"How's he doing?"

"Much better. You can go in. And tell him that if he picks at those scabs, I will give him another scrub-down."

"Um... Yes, Mistress."


"You are such an idiot...."

"Yeah... well..."

"What is it with you, picking at him like that? You know he's going to rip holes in you."

"I dunno. Maybe it's my job in life to keep Heero on his toes."

"Dork. Duo spent three days surrounded by cabana Elves in Hawaii, for Sap's sake! Heero's about as on his toes as he gets. You're lucky he didn't just kill you and be done with it..."

"So I miscalculated a little."

"You think?! A 'little'? Stop that. Mistress said she'd scrub you again if you pick at it."

"Damn female... It itches."

"Tough. Stop picking or I'll tell her."

"Some friend you are..."

"Excuse me?! I threw myself between two dragons! If that isn't friendship, I do not know what is!"

"Yeah, yeah..."

"And have I heard a thank you yet? No, I have not. I should tell Duo."


"A little louder, please?"


"You are worse than a two-year old kit..."


"Here; I brought you a soda. And Duo sent a candy bar. Don't let Mistress see, though."

"Thank you...."

"You're welcome."


"You.... idiot.... Eww. That feels weird. No wonder it itches."


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[User Picture]
Date:January 30th, 2016 09:48 pm (UTC)
Totally agree with you. Nothing worse than idiot drivers.

I was grinning all the way through this part. But Wufei reslly asked for it didn't he.

Poor Heero, needless to say he didn't have a 'relaxing' stay, did he?
[User Picture]
Date:February 13th, 2016 02:35 pm (UTC)
Wufei gets so few opportunities to poke at Heero, he just forgets how hard it can backfire. ^_^

Not much. ^_^ Unless we assume that Duo did a bit of Banshee singing.
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